On Going Home

I'm headed home for the holidays to visit family and friends and eat myself silly with Christmas snacks. I'm not sure why but I've been forgetting that it is only a two week trip- I keep thinking I'm going to be away from work for ages and have been spending extra hours trying to complete things. In truth, it's a short break and the company will not implode in my absence.

At least I find relief in the fact that most everyone is taking the holidays off. When a coworker asked who would be around next week, no one raised their hands. Norwegians seem to take their holidays very seriously (hence the five weeks of paid vacation). Maybe it's because they retreat into a cabin without wifi to spend the holidays, but they are really able to get 'away from it all', and nothing brings them more pleasure.

The funny thing is when I imagine Norwegians retreating into these winter cabins, I imagine them literally slipping into the mountains and disappearing into a cabin that doesn't have neighbors for dozens of miles. The truth is, many of these cabins are really just second houses without internet. They might take a while to get to, but everything takes forever to get to in Norway.

Normally I'm so excited to go home and eat gingersnaps, but I've been munching on an endless supply of them at work for the past month so I guess I'll need a new Christmas dish. The other day my boss asked me if I've made a list of food I'm going to buy once I'm back in the states, but the truth is that I haven't even thought about the things that are missing for a long time. Its comforting to know that I'm not missing the US all the time, that Norway is truly starting to feel like home. Not to say I wont get giddy when I enter an American supermarket; who wouldn't at those prices?

On Drinking Like a Local

I have had a tumultuous and slowly evolving relationship with coffee throughout my life. As a child, you couldn't find anything I hated more (except maybe for coconut). I didn't drink coffee at all through college, with the rare exception of a peppermint mocha or two my senior year (and let's be honest, those don't count as coffee).

In fact, for most of my life I've been a proud tea drinker (and really, I doubt that will ever change. Tea is simply delicious!) I can drink mug upon mug of greens, blacks, and herbals as if they were water.

In graduate school, I became highly dependent on espresso drinks (lattes and cappuccinos), but always with tons of milk and some sugar. Now that I'm in Norway, I've observed that Norwegians are constantly drinking coffee. I mean constantly. There are multiple espresso machines and coffee makers at work, and every home I've been to so far has at least one fancy espresso machine.

According to this source, Norway is the second most caffeine dependent country in the world, following Sweden. In fact, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, and Finland are in the top five! By comparison, the US doesn't even make the top ten. In short, coffee is a pretty big deal here.

I've been teaching myself how to drink like the locals do: hot and black. There is nothing more quintessentially Norwegian that to come in from the cold weather (most likely after trekking through a fiord for 10 hours) and drink a nice hot cup of black coffee. It's taken a few months, but I've learned to leave out the milk (and cocoa powder!) and drink it straight up. I'm kind of excited to go back to California and show off my newfound bad-assness. Cream or sugar? Nei takk!

Images from With Grace & Guts

On the Holidays

Norway has embraced the coming holidays with a vigor that makes me smile. The entire city is coated in Christmas lights, which makes walking through the streets positively romantic.

Norwegians seem to take the holidays very seriously. There was a big tree lighting ceremony in the middle of the square, and I swear hundreds of people showed up to see it happen. Every night, musicians gather and play music as well, despite the not so lovely weather. There's also Christmas markets popping up all over, and I went to one the other weekend that was full of people eating hot rice porridge and waffles and selling handy crafts in small wooden booths. I tried some pickled herring, smoked salmon, and reindeer salami. There was even a choir of monks singing.

The best things? The lights everyone is putting in their windows. There are paper star lanterns everywhere, and candles shining in little holders. There has also been a constant stash of ginger cookies at work that get refilled every day!

The food is pretty amazing as well: if you are from the east, you eat pork (svineribbe), from the west, it's fish, and from the north or south it's lamb (pinnekjøtt, a dehydrated salted lamb). All of the side dishes, such as rødkål (red cabbage) and pureed rutabaga, are loaded with butter and bacon and is designed to give you a little extra layer for warmth, or that's at least what I assume. Everyone has been throwing Julebørds, which are Christmas parties, which feature all of these dishes, gløgg (a spiced warm wine), and akevitt (a liquor made out of potatoes).

This evening as I was walking home it started to snow, big fat fluffy flakes. Simply magical.

Photo: Wreathe by With Grace & Guts, Pepperkake by Ocado

On Sounds of Affirmation

After a long leave of absence (from writing, not from Norway), I've returned to talk about sounds. In the US, we are constantly interjecting sounds into a conversation, to let the other person know that we are paying attention. I'm more at fault at interjecting sounds (and words and stories...) into conversations than anyone else I know. This fact about myself is actually very overwhelming to a lot of Scandinavians, not just Norwegians. I don't think in my entire time here I've ever been interrupted by a Norwegian, just by many ex-pats. One of my Danish friends admitted that she was shocked by how one of her American friends would always throw in "Yeah" continually while she was talking. It took her a long time to realize it wasn't meant to be rude, but instead to signal that she was listening.

I've seen different ways of communicating this continuation of the conversation across the world, encouraging the other person with signs and language that aren't all spoken. In India and Nepal, its the head bob. In Norway, its this three and a half part sound, that goes down, up, down and then quickly up again.

In fact, it's been amazing for me to slowly figure out how musical and almost tonal Norwegian is. They usually end words and sentences going up (like a Scandinavian valley girl) and mastering these ups and downs is very important for being understood.

Another sound of affirmation is the inhaled yes. When I first read about it, I thought it was a joke. The first time you hear someone do this, you think they are choking. It's this quick little ja, pronounced ya, that they suck in. It's usually reserved for women over 45, but I've seen some men around the office inhaling their ja sportingly. And so of course, now I'm doing it too.

I've been trying to incorporate these sounds into my conversations to 1. see how people react and 2. make up for the fact that I don't actually speak Norwegian in full sentences. It made me wonder, do words like this exist in sign language? (Fun fact: I just learned today that sign language is different in different parts of Norway to account for the differences in dialect)

On Eating in Norway

One of the biggest and earliest shocks I had to deal with when moving to Norway was how expensive food was. My first grocery bill, which consisted of two small bags of groceries, came up to a whopping $68. I was horrified. Had I splurged? My bag was full of bread and bananas, no rare nut butters or gluten-free-sugar-free-organic-free-range snacks. My brain whirled in wonder.

In order to shop without breaking your bank requires two things: patience and determination. It might require you to compare prices at several stores (hmm muesli is 2 NOK cheaper at Coop...) and buy based on deals not on recipes. For me, it means eating a lot of eggs and tuna.

Sometimes though, it's hard doing all the math and putting in the effort to find those deals. In the end, if this cucumber is 19 NOK (about $3), does it matter that it's more expensive than in the US, or just that it's cheaper than the broccoli? In the end, all the currency conversions here cause unnecessary stress because honestly, a $6 head of lettuce is cheaper than a $1000 plane ticket back to America.

One of my Norwegian friends here recently told me that "They intentionally make food that's bad for you very expensive so that you don't want to buy it," he continued, "and they make food thats really good for you even more expensive." It's sadly true. Not only do they not only not have a lot of selection of treats (just chocolate and vanilla ice cream? Come on!) but they also make it very hard to splurge (a $14 pint of ice cream really will never hit the spot). And those gluten-free-sugar-free-organic-free-range snacks? Dream on.

Over time, I've come to feel more relaxed about buying food in Norway. Most things in Norway are more expensive than in the US, but in the end it's just a part of life right now. Some things that are surprising relatively affordable: Salmon & Muesli. Boo ya Norway!

Photo via Wit & Delight

On London

This weekend I had the special treat of visiting my cousin, Martha, in London. Martha has recently relocated to London to pursue writing (I mean London worked for Beatrice Potter & Shakespeare right?)

In short, it was an absolute delight. Four days of laughter and cocktails and delicious food and lots and lot of people. London is actually 66 times more populated than Stavanger (yes, I did crunch the numbers). And let me just say you felt it. People were everywhere; on the streets, in the Underground, booking up all the restaurants. More than once we found restaurants completely booked and had to wait past ten many nights to get served dinner. But we loved it. The city was so vibrant and alive. There was so many things going on continuously- literally every place felt bumping.

A couple favorite moments:

Visiting the Colombia Flower Market on Sunday (above): Stalls were overflowing with so many people you felt like you were in a school of fish, peering glimpses of stalls lush with flowers through the crowd.

Yoga at Frame in Shoreditch: Martha and I had the most amazing power yoga class at Frame, a fitness studio near her place. The yoga teacher was a sub, but phenomenal! Felt ready to conquer London afterwards. Instead went and ate lunch.

Virginia Woolf @ The Book Club: We went to an hour long performance of A Room of One's Own in the basement of The Book Club, a local cafe/bar/club/host-of-amazing-intellectual-events. This local venue has tons of fun events every day and a mean looking cocktail list. The vibe makes you feel immediately cool and hip.

Weird fact about Stavanger, where I currently live? When Google translates Stavanger from Norwegian to English, it translates to London. Coincidence? I think not.

Cheers from London, Norway

On Commonalities

One of the internal debates I've been having recently is how to make friends. The first big choice: Do I try and make friends with Norwegians, or is it okay to make friends with other ex-pats? I remember back in college that many of the exchange students always hung out together. At that time, I remember thinking how weird it was that, for example, all the Chinese students would only be hanging out with other Chinese students and quite often only speaking in mandarin.

In retrospect, I completely get it. When you come to a new country, anything that is familiar and a reminder of home is a comfort. And when you meet other foreigners, you already have something in common. You are both foreigners in this new place. And thats what brings me to the topic of commonalities.

I often hear that certain types of people attract certain types of people. If you love mountain biking, chances are your friends love mountain biking, or at least something similar like backpacking or rock climbing. It's logical to surround yourself with people that you enjoy being around, doing things with, and when you have a conversation, you are able to easily explore a topic you both enjoy.

Some friends of mine here in Norway recently spoke to me about this with respect to food. This couple loves to eat food thats local, organic, and that they preferably make at home. They talked about the fact that most of their friends share this same eating style, because whats the appeal in having dinner at a friends house if you never want to eat what they were serving?

My experience in Norway making friends has left me with several big choices. Choice one: Do I make friends with other expats? Making friends with other expats, as I explained before, is relatively easy. You are both foreigners and understand the process of being a foreigner. And, chances are, you are both looking for friends. Most Norwegians already have their friend circles, and it's really really hard to try and squeeze in. If I am able to make Norwegian friends though, I am much more likely to learn the local language and get a much better picture of Norwegian life and culture.

That brings me to my second choice. Do I just take the first friends I can find, or can I be "picky"? What I mean is, how hard should I try to find actual commonalities? Yes, maybe we are both expats, but does that automatically mean we should be friends?

In the words of C.S. Lewis:

"Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: "What! You too? I thought no one but myself...""

Fingers crossed that day is coming.

Image via Grace & Guts

On Bicycles

Bike riding in Norway is a given. People were almost shocked it took me three days to get a bike, and whenever I show up somewhere without a bike people wonder how I arrived (I walked).

While there is still some subtleties about bike culture I'm teasing out (i.e. does everyone wear a helmet?), there have been some pretty important rules regarding bike riding that are vastly different than what I grew up with.

Shocker number one: It's okay to ride your bikes on the sidewalk. The only time in the US I've ever seen it be forgivable to ride your bike on the sidewalk is if you are 

      a) less than 10 and there is a lot of traffic or 

      b) accompanying multiple children less than 10.

There are some bike lanes here but, shocker number two, many bikes ride along with cars.

So then the real question is, what do you do at intersections, etc? The rule of thumb is if you are riding with pedestrians, you are supposed to act like a pedestrian (i.e. get off your bike and walk it across in the walk way). If you ride with cars, you are supposed to respect the rules of the road, such as stopping at red lights.

In practice, most people seem to do a blend of the two, switching a bit between road and sidewalk, and just biking across the walkway.

I have a lot of training to do before I will be able to comfortably bike with Norwegians (they put double digit kilometers behind them without breaking a sweat). It's a staple of living here though, so I've got to love my sykkelen.

Image via mottainaicycles

On Simple Kindness

This morning at work, a coworker that I barely knew gave me a hand blender and a cake pan. Just handed them over with a smile. She had heard me asking where to buy kitchen instruments, like a blender, over lunch the previous day.

It's little moments like these that leave you in awe. When you are in the process of reinventing your life in a new place, it's those small gestures, those little rays of kindness, that fill you up with joy. It's the moments that make you think that that this, whatever this is, is going to work out.

I've had a lot of those since moving to Norway, little gestures from the people around me that surprise me and make my day. It's the co-worker who waits for you to join him or her at lunch, the invitation to join a group for a hike, the moments where people invite you into their lives.

When moments like these happen, where you are bursting with your belief in humanity and 'kindred spirits', I believe that you should channel your happiness into other peoples lives, those who might not have been touched today.

If you need some inspiration, to get those "I believe in the world" juices flowing, this book has been helping me.

"... In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart."

- Anne Frank

Image via Grace & Guts (I mean who doesn't love peonies?)

On Fall

This weekend was the fall equinox, and this morning I could feel the difference. There was a strong chill in there air, distinctly different from the cool but fresh mornings I had become acquainted to since arriving in Norway.

This September has been much nicer than is normal, with clear blue skies and warm sunny days. All of the locals and seasoned ex-pats have whispered warnings that at any moment, the nice weather was going to fall away to wet cold days.

Norwegians believe fiercely in their saying that "There is no bad weather, just bad clothing". While they don't seem to mind the rain, and all report loving the snow, the one exception to this rule seems to be the wind. This Sunday, which was still clear and sunny, was pretty windy.

The winds here, apparently, get a bit out of control. A Norwegian friend was telling me about a time last winter when, very pregnant, she was knocked off her feet in the street.

I've been waiting this this transition to happen any day. I know I've been way too lucky with all of this amazing weather (the happier side of global warming). I've been trying to tell myself the weather will be really terrible that that when it's not, I can always be pleasantly surprised.

Photo via Madewell

On Being a Pedestrian

I was shocked when I first came to an intersection in Norway and the cars all stopped. In the US, I'm used to waiting a couple minutes at a stop light, checking both directions and waiting for a gap to hurriedly walk across.

In Norway, the pedestrian culture is radically different. Pedestrians completely have the right of way. Cars, I swear, will scan pedestrians so that even before you near an intersection they are ready, breaks on. 

As a driver in the US, I've definitely been guilty of sliding through before the pedestrian makes it to my side of the street. That would be cause for outrage, and embarrassment, here in Norway. Cars will actually slam on their breaks for pedestrians.

The counter point is that pedestrians here are wonderful pedestrians. They do not jay walk. At all. If there is not a cross walk, Norwegians will walk to find one. If the light isn't in their favor, they will patiently wait. It becomes a social pressure sort of situation- I've definitely found myself at an intersection, wanting to dart across, but I'll notice several Norwegians, already patiently waiting. And, in my endless determination not to act like a foreigner, I too wait.

Image via Open Culture. 

On Dressing Like a Norwegian

One of the most peaceful aspects of living in Norway is that when you walk, no one bothers you. It's like being placed in a someone else's dream, where you get to move around as a spectator without anyone asking why you are there. Its immensely peaceful (but of course immensely lonely, depending on your perspective).

During these quiet walks I enjoy watching the people around me, especially the women. Their style can be boiled down to two words: Simple and effortless.

Norwegian women, and I dare say this is true of all Scandinavian women, wear barely any makeup, if any. Their clothing is typically a mixture of outdoorsy (mostly featuring black spandex) and classy.

Norwegian women typically wear three, maybe four colors: black, gray, off white, and sometimes navy (mostly in the form of jeans).

Yes, most of them are blonde (though not all natural, which some boys here find shocking, "women sometimes DYE their hair!") and blue eyed. I hear that this looks gets a bit tiring. I have yet to experience it.

I've seen girls walking around in rain coats and baggy gray t-shirts, and it's breathtaking. Why? For me it's just so natural. It could be a huge guise, there could be hours and hours of preparation (just rolled out of bed hairdo to the next level?). But for now, I find the lack of lipstick and curling irons refreshing.

Images via With Grace & Guts

On Packing Up Your Life

There are many tools you can use to prepare for a big move. I imagine people doing extensive research online, making detailed to do lists with items like 1. Forward mail to new address and 27. Find new vet for Colonel Snuggles. Proper moving preparation takes months of planning. I took a different approach.

I relied upon the tool of denial.

I was my personal zen life coach. I kept repeating calming phrases to myself whenever I thought of my impeding move. Phrases like People do this all the time, you've got this sport and You'll get there one way or another, no need to stress yourself over it. It was as if a second grade soccer coach was patting me softly on the amygdala, calming that little temperamental part of my brain.

And in some ways this was helpful. I never had a meltdown, surrounded by half packed boxes, unable to do anything other than lie in a fetal position, a puddle of hopelessness. But as a result I arrived in Norway, with my three bags, having left problems unsolved. I left my sanity intact, but as a result I did not completely understand the country I was moving to, what I would need for the life that I was starting.

So as a result I've started to compile small lessons I've learned along the way, on my life here. On Norway.

Photo by John Webley